TO: Â GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Â Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Dear God: Â Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?
Dear God: Â When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Â Or is it
still the same old story?
Dear God: Â Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named
for a Dog? Â How often do you see a cougar riding around? Â We do love a nice
ride! Â Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the
'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: Â If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic
+energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. Â What do humans understand?
Dear God: Â More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Â Are there mailmen in Heaven? Â If there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God: Â Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
up. Â
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The  garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Â Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not
after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The  cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that  noise, it's usually not a good thing.
When I get to Heaven can I have my testicles back?
